What are you hiding?

Well, I originally planned on writing this post about how I love people. Plans change. I still can’t bring myself to say that. Every time I start to have the tiniest bit of hope for the human race, someone, somehow diminishes it. So, I will not be writing about how I love people.

I have a question: Do we ever truly know someone?

Everyone has secrets; everyone is hiding something. Does it make sense for a person to be hiding their good side?

Last night I attended an honor roll party at school, from 5-7 pm. It started out interestingly enough. I was waiting in the car for my friends to show up when a van went past us. Guess who was in it? Arrogant Jerk. (Can we change his name to A.J. [stands for arrogant Jerk]?) I looked over to see who it was, and of course it was A.J. He saw me glaring at him, and he kind of smirked. My mom saw the look on my face and asked me who he was. I just told her to glare at him (she didn’t, but still, I told her to.) It was funny though, because the second he got out of his car my mom said, “He looks pompous, full of himself, and he’s too skinny.” I looked at her like she was brilliant. Mostly because she was brilliant, she was dead-on. He is all of those things, arrogant, jerk. Still, while he got out of the car, I couldn’t help but think, “He’s so hot, and he looked at me!” What’s wrong with me?

I wonder what A.J’s hiding. It’s obvious that he pretends he’s nice and brilliant, when in reality he’s a cowardly, arrogant jerk. But everyone could see that, if they looked carefully enough. No, I mean, I wonder what he’s really hiding. There must be something, there always is, with everyone.

A.J isn’t the one hiding his good side though. After we ate, and took a group photo I went into the Wii games room (my friends eventually found me and played too) and started playing Mario Brothers with Brian. Brian! Well, let’s just say I suck at Mario Brothers on the Wii, especially when I don’t know the controls. But anyway, it was an extremely normal and mostly fun game. Brian was nice! Honestly, if he tried a little harder to be nice on a regular basis, he’d be a great guy. He started the game by telling me an entertaining story about why Mario has to keep saving Princess Peach. It had to do with Mario eating a lot of lasagna, and then having to work out, then rescuing Princess peach, and then she turns him down when he ask her out. It was strange, but funny. I mean, the boy can actually have a normal conversation. I was so surprised. Sure, he said some things that were a little annoying, but nothing too bad. Hey, no one can change in one night. I've never thought he was too bad, I’ve always just thought that people need to give him a chance. I was right. I wonder if he knows what he can gain with just a little extra common sense. Why is he hiding his good side? What else is he hiding?

Do you want to know one thing that I’M hiding? Well, I’ll tell you anyway. I’m hiding how much I really want someone to share what I’m hiding with.

Those were the two things I remember most from yesterday (of course they both have to do with guys. Great. =[). Of course other things happened. I got three compliments yesterday. First, Kayla told me my eye make-up looked pretty. Then, when I got to the Honor Roll party Jasmine Stokes (whom I hung out with for the first 15 minutes, before she had to leave) told me I looked really nice, and that she liked my outfit and how she wished we didn’t have to wear uniforms. Then she wrote on the board in the classroom we were playing Wii in, “Baylee es Bonita.” Then when Katelyn came into the room she added, “y Buena” to it, so that it said, “Baylee es Bonita y Buena!” I don’t think they erased it, so when my Spanish teacher goes into her class on Monday she’s going to read it. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten some nice compliments, and they made me feel nice.

After the party Miranda, Katelyn, and I went to the mall to look at dresses for the spring formal (I still hope I get a date, although I know it won’t happen. I’m going to end up just having to go with my friends). I found my top three dresses and a jacket/cardigan. I am so excited. The dresses are so pretty. Looking at dresses and knowing I’ll be able to buy one makes me feel like a princess. All girls need to feel princessy every once and a while! XD

Afterwards, we went to see The Roommate. It was supposed to be a scary movie. It wasn’t as scary as I had hoped. The hot Ex-boyfriend and Cuddles the cat died. That was it. The worst part was when the cat died. I'm disappointed in it.

Miranda spent the night. I’ve had a rather boring day today. My mom and I went to Woodland Mall and hung out. It was fun and she took me to get a Caramel Sundae from Sonic. Yummy! XD

Super bowl tomorrow!

xoxox

~Baylee Jean

2nd Snow Day

Snow Day #2, 2^nd snow day in a row! Thank you snow! (or as many are calling it, Snowpocalypse, snowsaster, snowmageden, and Blizzard 2011).

                Today was a pretty good day! XD

                I woke up this morning still thinking about last night. Not the best way to wake up, so I was fuming first thing in the morning. It really bothered me, what he did. Oh well, I don’t even know him. I just hated the getting that realization of how arrogant people can be.

                Anyway, I’m trying to get over it (not gonna happen).

                Miranda called, ten minutes after I woke up. She was unnaturally happy. Somehow, here preppyness cheered me up a little. So we talked for a while and decided that she should come over. We were going to make snow people! After I hung up with her, I went to take a shower. Then, she came over and we threw snowballs at each other, failed at making snowmen, and made igloos (if you can call them that. Miranda’s is epic!

                I learned that we are going to have a Spring Formal! I get to wear a fancy dress and everything, so excited! Now I only wish I had a date…

                I’m going to go… I’m getting ticked again. Bye.

                Xoxox

                ~baylee jean

I Hate People.

                I hate people.

                Not going to lie, I’m completely pissed right now! So, if you aren’t in the mood to hear me rant, stop reading. I’m not in the mood to listen to your complaints.

                People are idiots, fakes, liars, jerks, stupid, charming, terrible. People are a disease. We are a disease to our planet, we are a disease to each other, and we are a disease to ourselves.

                I am an idiot. I feel so dumb. How could I not have known?

                People are so good at wearing mask; so good at covering up whom they truly are. They go around acting like something, and you want to know the worst part, everyone believes them. Then, all of a sudden the lightly drop the act like it’s no big deal. Or, even worse than that, they drop it right from the beginning, and act as if it’s casual. It’s not.

                You are such a jerk. How could I not have seen that?

                Am I really that bad a judging people? Sad thing is I’m still having a hard time figuring out how to judge you!

                People can be so unclear. People can be such complete jerks, yet be so charming about it that it doesn’t seem that terrible.

                You are trash.

                People can change so quickly. I think everyone is slightly bi-polar in some way. People can go from kind, to harsh; from loving to hateful, from charming to… trash. So much can change in so little time. It doesn’t take more than a second to change things, sometimes even less than that. People never really know anyone, if they’re always changing. But, it doesn’t really matter. Everyone will be deceived by someone in the end. Truth be told, you already have been. Everyone has been deceived by someone, even when they were young. Santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy. When people get older, things only get worse. People can recover from minor lies such as though, funny games. It gets harder to recover as the games get more complex.

                I don’t know much of them, but: Your games don’t seem fun, or funny. No one wants to play, so get over yourself. The rules are too complex, and there is no meaning to the game. I’m pretty sure you’re making it up as you go along. I don’t want to play.

                I think I just put myself in the game.

                Even if you don’t want me there; no one talks about my friends like that, and gets away with it. Not without a fight.

                Wouldn’t it be funny if you lost your own game?

                I hate people. I am a person. I hate myself as well.

                I too wear a mask. I don’t think anyone knows what’s under it. I thought I wanted people to know who I am, to know me; I don’t trust anyone enough anymore to even try.

                They wouldn’t like me anyway.

                My mask. I am ashamed to be wearing it. So stupid that is to say, considering I don’t want to take it off. Or, I won’t take it off is more like it.

                I talked to you like you were funny, like you were charming. Oh, forget that. What’s the point of lying? I was flirting with you. Does that make you smirk? I was flirting. I think you’re cute and you seemed charming. Wish I would have known you would say that. I would have convinced myself not to start the conversation in the first place. Did that blow up your ego? I hope your ego explodes.

                Even after you said it, I pretended it was no big deal. I think I even added a few ‘ha’s’ behind it. It wasn’t funny. Get over yourself.

                I now know that you are a jerk. YOU ARE A JERK! I hope someone confronts you about it soon. I hope someone treats you exactly how you act. That’s the least you deserve, get a taste of your own medicine, see how it tastes. I assure you, it doesn’t taste good. Being deliberately fooled, and falling for a false act. You’ll feel like an idiot. You deserve it, because you are an idiot. I’ll give you a taste of it myself if I get the chance.

                Trust me; I’ll be working on my act.

                You like drama, right? Did you hear about the latest character in the play, the latest antagonist? It’s you! I wonder if you’d get the point by seeing how someone else portrays your character. I’m sure there are plenty of people that would do it. I know I would. Show you how ridiculous you look, sign me up.

                People never truly learn from their mistakes. If a person does something once, they’ll do it again. I’m sure it’s probably proven fact. If it isn’t, it will be soon. Habit is habit, and always will be. Flaws are flaws; everyone has them and is stuck with them. People can hide their flaws, and they can get away with it. But buried under the surface, the flaws will always be there.

                I’ve had one conversation with you. I can already make a list of your flaws.

                I can also think of a list of attractive qualities. You pull people in. That’s why I’m so confused by you. How did you know me? You didn’t even seem to know me for the reasons I thought, but something completely different. It made my heart flutter; too bad you went and ruined it.

                You are one of the world’s most dangerous, scary, vicious predators. I wish I would have stayed away. A teenage boy.

                I wish a million apples were thrown at you now. I will no longer try to stop them from bombarding you with apples now. Don’t expect any help from me.

                Learn how to treat people. Get a soul. You are not that brilliant, you are not better than anyone else. We may not all be able to see past the mask, but one day… one day…. One day you’ll learn the error of your way. I hope Karma comes and bites you in the butt… hard.

                Who do you think you are? Well? Who are you?

                 I hate you. I am attracted to you.

                I hate people.

~Baylee jean

Remember.

Blue eyes,

now glossed over

by the fog of resurfacing memories.

Turn around;

watch them walk.

Confidence,

not a worry on their mind.

Do you remember,

when you used to be happy?

You traded it

without

a second thought.

Now, look at you:

sitting their pathetic,

looking on in envy at what you

traded away.

It’s too late now.

Move on.

You gave it up.

Let it go.

Now look at you:

Sad.

Naïve you are,

and naïve you have been.

You can’t go back.

Remember

last year,

when you wanted so badly to be here;

to escape,

there.

Now, you’re here.

You want to go back;

you can’t.

Find someway

to get over it.

no one,

will give you pity.

Your only hope:

They don’t make

the same

stupid mistake as you.

xoxox

~Baylee Jean

P.S. I know, not a real blog post, but it still has a lot of feeling. And I think it works. If you don;t get it, the 8th graders came to GRP today, there's a hint.

Another Novel Idea??

What do you think?

What if we only fell for the person we were meant to be with? What if we never feell for anyone that wasn’t our true love? We would never have to feel the sting of puppy love, and never the hurt of losing a first love. We would no longer have to feel the pain of rejection. Rejection wouldn’t even exist. No one would even know what it was. No one would ever have to worry if the other person liked them back, they would just know. What if everyone just instantly knew? The definition of ‘love at first sight’ would be redefined. Everyone would feel calm. Everyone would feel loved.

                What if the spell was broken? What if after everyone got use to love at first sight, love at first sight no longer existed; or at least it wasn’t so obvious? No one would know who to love. No one would know how to love. Rejection? Everyone would live in fear of rejection, more than they do now. The pain of being rejected would be too much for everyone to handle. They would live their lives in fear of rejection and heartache. They would hide their love and their feelings.

                Love: Hidden away in the dark, lost to a city afraid of rejection.

                Life: What is life without being loved?

                Will things ever be the same? Will they embrace love and rejection, or will they live life in the dark, forever fearful?

xoxox
~Baylee Jean
p.s. More to come. I came up with this today in Geometry.

Season of the Witch

Starring Nicholas Cage

Today I had the pleasure of attending Season of the Witch, with my father today at Celebration Cinema Rivertown. I really enjoyed this movie. It mixed history, religious thought, horror, and suspense. Nicholas Cage did a great job conveying his character and the other actors/actress did a great job. Also, in my opinion Robert Sheehan was gorgeous. His dark curls and beautiful eyes made me fall head over heels for him and his character.

 This movie did a great job of combining Historical Fact, such as the Crusades, The black Plaque, and the power of the church and also fantasy and religion. Naturally movies that have something to do with religion give me the creeps, but I promise this movie is different than other movies. It may be clichéd for me to say this, but I was literally on the edge of my seat the whole time, from beginning to end.

A short summary of Season of the Witch: The movie starts out with three women being hung for witchery and making pacts with the Devil. The priest or pope in this story does not get a chance to finish saying the spell that will keep the witch from ever coming back. WE then go to Nicholas Cage fighting in the Crusades (which, if you did not know. The crusades are a time when European people went to other empires to fight and kill people “for God”. They kill people of other religions because they have sinned. All in all it really is terrible, but they don’t get into this in the movie. Thank you AP world history for giving me all this background knowledge). Eventually he figures out how wrong the crusades are, and he leaves. When he returns back The Black Plague has struck. To stop the plaque, him and few other people (including Robert Sheehan) have to take ‘the witch’ to the ultimate church so they can say some sort of spell or scripture to get rid of the witch. The Witch has power over the men though. Will she drive them all mad? Will she turn them against each other?

I do not suggest this movie to people that are very sensitive, or have weak stomach. There are some extremely gruesome parts in this movie. But it is great, do not let the disturbing scenes fool you. This movie is excellent! I hope you get a chance to check it out and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

I left the movie theater with many mixed emotions about the subject matter of the movie, but none of them were negative. I would probably go see it again, if given the chance. It gave me a lot to think about, and it was a very strong, emotional, thought provoking movie. Enjoy!

Xoxox

~Baylee Jean

p.s. This is my first movie review, it isn’t very good. I’ll try to get better!

In your head?

Have you ever heard of the term: “The Person in your head”?

                Well, earlier this month I first heard this term, when I was reading a book called Dash and Lily’s Book of Dares. Basically, what this means I when you don’t really know someone very well, and then you start to imagine what you want them to be like. Ultimately, most people become disappointed by the real thing because they’ve built this fake person in their head.

                I honestly think that this is one of my biggest problems in life. I create too many things that are just “in my head”. I don’t just do this with people either, I do this with event and situations as well. It sucks. Take this very moment for example. There is this guy in one of my classes, and I don’t know much about him. From what I have seen, hear, experienced from him he is a nice guy, a gentleman. I think I kind of like him. I mean I obviously don’t love him or anything, but I’m attracted to him. The bad thing is, that since I don’t know him very well I can make him into whomever I want to believe he is. My imagination can give him any qualities I it wants to because it doesn’t really know him. The problem is, now I have this wonderful idea of him, and chances are, he’s probably nothing like that person. But the bigger problem is that now I’m not even sure that I actually want to get to know him. I don’t want to be crushed when I learn that he’s not the person in my head; even though I already know that he isn’t. Most of the time the person in our head doesn’t even exist, he is just a fantasy guy that isn’t real. He is something you would only find in fiction or on a cheesy sitcom

Funny thing is I’m not even sure I would ever want to meet the person in my head. I think it’d be kind of scary. What would happen if I ever met him? These are the things that haunt me. (Yeah, I just said that. Deal with it.)

                Of course I want to get to know the boy I was referring to earlier, but I’m afraid to. I’m just kind of shy. I haven’t gotten to know a guy in a while, and I’m not sure I will ever get the chance. I’ve tried, (not very well) to talk to him a few times. I could do better, but I probably won’t.

                I had a chance in class today. He was sitting in front of my in class (because one guy [his best friend] was absent, normally he sits two seats in front of me), and I was supposed to pass up a paper. Well, at first he looked at me to see if I had a paper to pass to toward the front; I just looked back at him, he is gorgeous. Then I figured I probably should pass it up, and I could have easily said his name and passed it up. But No, I was too afraid to say his name. Also, it would have made me seem disorganized, which I am no longer. Why am I so shy?? I hate being shy!

                Today in that same class we rolled up paper and were pretending it was a camera. Well, the teacher told us to look through our ‘lens’ and pick an object to focused on. Do you have any clue how much I wanted to pick him. Seriously, I wish I could have just stared at him through my ‘camera’; it would have looked too obvious if I’d chosen him, I would have been staring straight forward and gotten red if anyone asked what I was looking at. So, I looked at a poster instead.

                This boy, I wish you could see him. He gorgeous, well-kept, and clean.

The Boy:

1.       Has short darkish-brown hair. He tries to spike it up in the front a little, but mostly it’s nicely combed and clean.

2.       He has extremely dark eyes. I want to say they’re black but they are probably dark brown, not really sure though.

3.       His eyelashes are wonderful. I am almost jealous of those eyelashes. They are nice.

4.       He wears his uniform with a tie sometimes, it’s cute and professional-ish.

5.       I have talked to him twice through comments on him status.

6.       His is insanely smart and is taking Algebra II in 9^th grade. (That means he’s a year ahead of me in math.)

7.       He is a complete gentleman. The first time I ever noticed him was in class one day, we were in the computer lab. There were four of us at this table, all editing each other’s work; it was three guys and me. They all had chairs and I did not. I didn’t really care that I didn’t have a chair; I just sat at the table on my knees.  He looks at me ‘Oh, you don’t have a chair. Here take mine.’ Me ‘oh no, I’m fine. Thanks but I’m good.’ Him *gets out of his chair* ‘no, here take my chair’ then he gave it to me. That was when I first started to kind of like him. Then, on Tuesday this week we both got to school at the same time. He walked a little faster to get to the door before me, and then held it open for me. Eekk, he’s so brilliant! J

8.       He can imitate a perfect British accent

Seriously, tell me one thing that isn’t great about him. I’m waiting.

You can’t think of anything. I knew it.

        Tomorrow, I’m going to the movies with my dad to see Season of the Witch. Then, afterward, I’m going to get my haircut.

        I’m kind of mad right now because Inkpop has a bunch of glitches. Hacking peoples account and deleting their stories. I hope they fix it soon.

xoxox

~Baylee Jean