In your head?

Have you ever heard of the term: “The Person in your head”?

                Well, earlier this month I first heard this term, when I was reading a book called Dash and Lily’s Book of Dares. Basically, what this means I when you don’t really know someone very well, and then you start to imagine what you want them to be like. Ultimately, most people become disappointed by the real thing because they’ve built this fake person in their head.

                I honestly think that this is one of my biggest problems in life. I create too many things that are just “in my head”. I don’t just do this with people either, I do this with event and situations as well. It sucks. Take this very moment for example. There is this guy in one of my classes, and I don’t know much about him. From what I have seen, hear, experienced from him he is a nice guy, a gentleman. I think I kind of like him. I mean I obviously don’t love him or anything, but I’m attracted to him. The bad thing is, that since I don’t know him very well I can make him into whomever I want to believe he is. My imagination can give him any qualities I it wants to because it doesn’t really know him. The problem is, now I have this wonderful idea of him, and chances are, he’s probably nothing like that person. But the bigger problem is that now I’m not even sure that I actually want to get to know him. I don’t want to be crushed when I learn that he’s not the person in my head; even though I already know that he isn’t. Most of the time the person in our head doesn’t even exist, he is just a fantasy guy that isn’t real. He is something you would only find in fiction or on a cheesy sitcom

Funny thing is I’m not even sure I would ever want to meet the person in my head. I think it’d be kind of scary. What would happen if I ever met him? These are the things that haunt me. (Yeah, I just said that. Deal with it.)

                Of course I want to get to know the boy I was referring to earlier, but I’m afraid to. I’m just kind of shy. I haven’t gotten to know a guy in a while, and I’m not sure I will ever get the chance. I’ve tried, (not very well) to talk to him a few times. I could do better, but I probably won’t.

                I had a chance in class today. He was sitting in front of my in class (because one guy [his best friend] was absent, normally he sits two seats in front of me), and I was supposed to pass up a paper. Well, at first he looked at me to see if I had a paper to pass to toward the front; I just looked back at him, he is gorgeous. Then I figured I probably should pass it up, and I could have easily said his name and passed it up. But No, I was too afraid to say his name. Also, it would have made me seem disorganized, which I am no longer. Why am I so shy?? I hate being shy!

                Today in that same class we rolled up paper and were pretending it was a camera. Well, the teacher told us to look through our ‘lens’ and pick an object to focused on. Do you have any clue how much I wanted to pick him. Seriously, I wish I could have just stared at him through my ‘camera’; it would have looked too obvious if I’d chosen him, I would have been staring straight forward and gotten red if anyone asked what I was looking at. So, I looked at a poster instead.

                This boy, I wish you could see him. He gorgeous, well-kept, and clean.

The Boy:

1.       Has short darkish-brown hair. He tries to spike it up in the front a little, but mostly it’s nicely combed and clean.

2.       He has extremely dark eyes. I want to say they’re black but they are probably dark brown, not really sure though.

3.       His eyelashes are wonderful. I am almost jealous of those eyelashes. They are nice.

4.       He wears his uniform with a tie sometimes, it’s cute and professional-ish.

5.       I have talked to him twice through comments on him status.

6.       His is insanely smart and is taking Algebra II in 9^th grade. (That means he’s a year ahead of me in math.)

7.       He is a complete gentleman. The first time I ever noticed him was in class one day, we were in the computer lab. There were four of us at this table, all editing each other’s work; it was three guys and me. They all had chairs and I did not. I didn’t really care that I didn’t have a chair; I just sat at the table on my knees.  He looks at me ‘Oh, you don’t have a chair. Here take mine.’ Me ‘oh no, I’m fine. Thanks but I’m good.’ Him *gets out of his chair* ‘no, here take my chair’ then he gave it to me. That was when I first started to kind of like him. Then, on Tuesday this week we both got to school at the same time. He walked a little faster to get to the door before me, and then held it open for me. Eekk, he’s so brilliant! J

8.       He can imitate a perfect British accent

Seriously, tell me one thing that isn’t great about him. I’m waiting.

You can’t think of anything. I knew it.

        Tomorrow, I’m going to the movies with my dad to see Season of the Witch. Then, afterward, I’m going to get my haircut.

        I’m kind of mad right now because Inkpop has a bunch of glitches. Hacking peoples account and deleting their stories. I hope they fix it soon.

xoxox

~Baylee Jean