I think that maybe... you may have saved me.

I think you may have saved me.

I think I may have lost my mind.

I think that maybe-

There is hope in heart,

I should have remembered this from the start.

I think that maybe-

Heart really does triumph over beauty,

I can’t believe I almost let the opposite consume me.

I think that maybe-

Everyone does have an angel,

I’m so thankful mine appeared to me when he did.

I think that maybe-

Showing your heart is the truest form of beauty,

I believe I’ll be a better person, because you showed this to me.

I think I may have gone made without you,

You opened my eyes to something new,

that was so obvious but I was too blind to notice.

I think you may have saved me,

From my oblivious self.

And for this-

I’d like to thank you!

(This may sound wierd, but I don't mean it in a creepy way, this poem is dedicated to Robbie Rosen. I don't mean this in the starstruck love way. I mean this in the, 'you opened my eyes to all this obvious stuff that I was at risk of forgetting' so thank you!)

xoxox
~Baylee Jean

Robbie Rosen has made my day!! :D

Just as the title says, Robbie Rosen made my day (Maybe even my month.)!

            On Thursday night I spent the time from 8-10 in agony, watching American Idol waiting to see if Robbie Rosen would make the top ten (13 actually). After how much I voted for him, I was sure he would make it. Unfortunately, after so much build-up Robbie did not make the top 10 (13). Once I found out the news, I jumped off my bed, turned off the TV, and then went to bed without a word; tears building up in my eyes. After my mom came in, said she was sorry he didn’t make it, and told me goodnight, I started to cry. I cried for two reasons: 1.) I wouldn’t get to see Robbie Rosen singing on American Idol every week. 2.) I kept imagining how bad Robbie Rosen must have felt, America didn’t pick him, I would be devastated. I felt sad about it on and off all of Friday, yeah I know a little emotional. I had a hard week, if you hadn’t noticed from earlier post.

On Friday night, I ventured over to Robbie Rosen’s YouTube channel to write him a comment I was sure he wouldn’t read. I had a lot to say, and I wanted to put it out there, even though I didn’t think anyone would really read it. I actually wrote him two; one I posted on his profile, the other one I sent to him in a message.

Comment:

Dear Robbie,

I know you’ve heard this a lot, so I’ll try to keep this short. I voted for you as much as possible, on phone and online at the same time.  I cried when the judges didn’t pick you (yeah talk about emotional).  Robbie, I just want you to know that you have a beautiful voice and you can still get very far in the music business. I hope you get a record deal somewhere along the way, I know you can; when you do, I’ll be the first one to buy your CD and the girl in the first row. I know, my comment doesn’t really matter, you have a million more. You probably won’t even read it, but I thought I’d tell you anyway. Keep singing, please. Also, can you PLEASE put you videos back on public so I can watch them?

Sincerely,

The 14 yr old MI girl that know America voted wrong,

~Baylee Jean

I doubt you're reading this....

Dear Robbie,
I know you've heard this a lot, so I'll try to keep this short, I posted it in your comments also. I voted for you as much as possible, on phone and online at the same time. I cried when the judges didn't pick you (yeah talk about emotional). I could listen to you sing all day, your voice has such control, and you can hit notes in every range. Don't ever give up! (I don;t think you would) I will be seriously disappointed if I never hear Robbie Rosen sing again, becasue you have one of the most beautiful voices ever. Robbie, I just want you to know that you have a beautiful voice and you can still get very far in the music business. I hope you get a record deal somewhere along the way, I know you can; when you do, I'll be the first one to buy your CD and the girl in the first row. I know, my comment doesn't really matter, you have a million more. You probably won't even read it, but I thought I'd tell you anyway. Keep singing, please. Also, can you PLEASE put you videos back on public so I can watch them?
Sincerely,
The 14 yr old MI girl that know America voted wrong,
~Baylee Jean

P.S. Remember: You have fans all around the country now! XD
P.S.S You're cute too! ;)
Haha

Inspirational Song Quote that I hope makes sense with what I'm saying:
"Hey Jude, don't make it sad. Take a sad song, and make it better."

A few typos and stuff, but I didn’t really care at the time.

Today (the Sunday after), I was at Miranda’s house and I went on my Gmail, it said I had a new comment on my profile, but it didn’t say who it was from. When I logged onto my YouTube,  I went onto my YouTube channel and the first comment I see is from RobbieRosenSings! HE RESPONDED TO ME! ME!!!!! And I’ve checked, he hasn’t responded to many others. I’m not sure if he read the comment or the message, maybe both.

Here’s what he wrote:

robbierosensings (20 hours ago) Marked as spam hey baylee!!! i read what you wrote and wowowow how beautiful!!! thank you SOOO much for what ya said, that really means a lot to me!! this is definitely just the beginning for me so don't worry about that, i'm gonna keep going!! =] the amount of exposure i got from the show was tremendous too so that should definitely help me in my career...anyways, back to what you said, i'm just so happy you wrote what you did, and i'm so thankful i have a fan like you!!! thanks again :)

EEEKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn’t he so sweet!!!  My favorite part is the “wowowow”! He responded to me, can you believe it?!?  And he’s thankful to have a fan  like me! We’ll this has completely made my entire day!

Well, I think I’m going to go now, but Robbie Rosen, even after being eliminated continues to make me happy and be brilliant! I really will be waiting to see more from him, I think I might actually be his biggest fan! And I guess he’s not too torn up about being eliminated, he’s staying positive!

Extremely happy!

xoxox

~Baylee Jean

Poem i wrote (based on true events)

“Why am I so confused?” she asked me.

“I, myself have been wondering the same thing,” I tell her.

She acts concerned, but I can see

Her sudden apathy.

But I know I’ll break

If I keep all this bottled inside of me.

I’ll bore her with my tales

Of my pitiful life

And her responses come shorter

And I know that she doesn’t know how to fix

My eternal strife

Maybe she doesn’t care

But I call her friend

So my terrible tales

Of what some may call life

With her I share

“Are you happy?” she ask me.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I respond,

Tired of trying to explain,

When no one listens anyway

“Reasons” she tells me,

Like she knows

Yeah,

Reasons I think

I’m a lone

I constantly disappointing myself

I’d rather live in my imagination than reality

No one believes in me.

I’m never good enough

A list of reasons

But I could never tell her that

She would think I want pity

I don’t want pity

I want answers

I move on with the conversation

Like everything is almost fine.

But secretly-

I’m screaming-

“Help!”

 Inside.

Lonliness (March 2nd, 2011)

                I’m tired of being alone. Loneliness follows me, and just when I feel like I’m in good company, it strikes.

                I’m tired of being single. I know I’m not the prettiest person in the world, I’m a bit shy, and I probably seem loud. But if a guy actually took the time to get to know me, I don’t think I’m that bad. Or, maybe I am.

This world is crazy

               This world is crazy. Well, more some things that happen in this world are crazy. There are some things that seem impossible, but people can still pull them off and they almost get by without being caught.

                I’m at Katelyn’s house right now, and we just got done watching Prime Time: What Would You Do, and 20/20. It was honestly the first time I had watched either of the two shows, but I must say, they were both extremely interesting. Prime Time: What Would You Do was pretty thought provoking. On the show we watched the issues were: adopting children of a different race, drinking when you’re with children, and watching people scam people. It really made me think, ‘What would I do?’ And, I don’t know, my mind was kinda blown by 20/20. It was about a guy who was completely insane! Well, let’s just say: He forced his wife to get a face-lift, then he basically drugged her, he probably killed his wife, after killing his wife he hired a ‘nanny’ who didn’t do anything, he sent his adopted daughter back to her country, he had a fake life getting money from the government, he had a felony of forging checks, and he forged paper and I.D.’s. I don’t know, I just can’t believe a person could do all those things without them getting caught. It seriously makes me wonder, if a person can do all that, what else have people done? Don’t you find it a little scary? I find it a lot scary. =/

                I haven’t written anything this week. I really don’t know why, I just haven’t really had anything enlightening or important to say. So, sorry, but you didn’t miss much. Today has been a pretty good day though =) so I feel obligated to talk about it, so in future years to come I can look back at this and remember, ‘When I was in high school, I actually did have a few good days!’

                First let me start off by saying, the gentleman remains a complete gentleman. I swear he’s almost perfect. He gets good grades, he does all the things a gentleman does, and he’s cute. So, what’s wrong with him? There has to be something wrong, right? He’s only human after all. Oh, I think I might know what’s wrong with him, he doesn’t like me. Well, I suppose that’s not something wrong with him, but something wrong with me. Sigh. He obviously must not hate me, because he is so darn sweet. Unfortunately, every time I open my mouth to say something to him, I think it comes out almost mean and snobby. And, I don’t think I’m a snob, and I guess I can be mean at times, but certainly not to him. I think I’m just trying too hard to be cool and make a good impression. It obviously isn’t working. Shall I tell you his tales of gentlemanness? Well, even if you said no, I shall tell you anyway. You may not think this is a big deal, but most people wouldn’t do this in today’s society and so it sets him apart from the rest. The other day in the class that I have with him, the row we are sitting in was one paper short and the teachers had no more copies left. I was in the last seat of the row, so obviously I would be the one not getting the paper. The guy in front of me, just got right to work on his paper (I don’t care, it’s just an example of how the average guy acts, compared to this person). Well, the gentleman passed his paper back to me so that I could get started and he waited for a paper instead of making me do it. He is the middle person in the row, so he already had a paper, in case you didn’t catch that. I know it’s nothing huge and it’s just a guy being a gentleman, but not many guys are gentleman so, it was sweet. I think he is wonderful! I just wish I had more opportunities to talk to him, and without sounded bad. By the way, I am officially sure that he knows my name. Little triumph but a triumph all the same. You see, today in English class (oh my I’ll just say it, I have English with him!) we were debating about love in class. The teacher would read a question and we’d either go to the corner for strongly agree, the one for agree, the one for disagree, and the one for strongly disagree. (By the way, we are starting Romeo and Juliet. That’s how this is relevant to class.) Well, for one of the questions I was standing all by my lonesome in ‘disagree’. He was standing in the middle like a lame butt, which we weren’t aloud to do, but when he explained his reasoning he said, I agree with and see what Baylee is saying and then he repeated what I said. I know I’m lame, and the littlest things make me happy, but it honestly probably made my day.

                Also, I think there may be another guy that I may be semi-attracted to. I’m not really sure, it’s probably just a heart flutter thing and my the end of next week I’ll be over it. Still, I don’t think it would be bad if I did.

                And I met a guy in the hallway today. I have heard of the guy before considering he is really weird, but I had never met him. But I was walking in the hallway and so was he. We got stuck behind some people and by the time we got past them we were walking next to each other. Well, we had never met so he was all ‘Hi, who are you?!’ , and I said ‘ Hi, I’m Baylee?’ , and he said ‘I’m Brian’ and then ‘Nice to meet you!’ and I said ‘Nice to meet you too!’ I was excited to finally meet the guy. Plus at least I had someone to basically walk me to my class for the moment.

                Well, I’m tired and I should probably be talking to Katelyn considering I am at her house. This is actually the first time we are hanging out without Miranda. I’ve had a pretty good night! Tomorrow should be fun too, ice skating. Here’s to being happy about today and here’s to tomorrow!

                xoxox

                ~Baylee jean

Runaway...

                Have you ever wanted to run away?

                Have you ever wanted to run and never look back? Just leave the world behind you, and don’t let yourself regret anything. Go where ever you want, see whatever you want. Leave the life you’ve always known. Leave the haters, the people ready to judge you, any responsibility you had, any fears or regrets. If you could just leave it all. Leave the barriers and the restriction the government and anyone else who has authority traps us with. Leave the expectations, the everyday tortures that don’t apply to us.

                I assume you know my opinion on the matter, but just to make it clear: it sounds like a dream. Escaping.  Trust me, I’ve thought about it. I’d never actually run away but I’ve dreamed of leaving, doing something more than what I’m doing now.  The problem: No one understands. No one agrees. No one cares.|

                Running isn’t always cowardice. Sometimes, it’s what’s best. We aren’t running away out of fear, we’re running because we are the dreamers. We see the world differently, in a way no one else will ever understand. We know that there is something more out there, something else we should be doing. Instead of being imprisoned here, we’d rather be imprisoned elsewhere. Or, better yet, not be imprisoned anywhere at all; always moving.

                There really is no point in me being here. I can see that, so why can’t anyone else? I am wasting my life here, rotting away like a banana on a sunny day. I don’t mean to sound dramatic, I’m really not that big of a drama-queen. I’m just saying: Everyone learns in different ways, everyone sees things differently.

                I don’t know where I’m going with this.

                I guess I wish I could just disappear, start over, fall into the earth.

                Maybe someday.

                For now I’ll suffer through it (sounds dramatic like I’m joking but I’m being 100% serious)

                xoxox

                ~Baylee Jean

I'm Always Grumpy...

It’s times like these that life truly confuses me.

At this very moment I am laying on my floor typing this as my cousin lays in my bed snoring louder than I usually blare my music. I bet people around the world can hear her. Last night I had to sleep with headphones in just to block out the sound and it barely worked; I’ll probably have to do the same thing again tonight.

My cousins and grandmother came and spent the weekend. I had yesterday off, but it wasn’t much of a vacation. Everyone else has Monday off, so I’ll be the only one who doesn’t technically get to enjoy their vacation. I guess I don’t deserve it though because I missed school all last week, because I was sick. Sigh, karma I guess.

We went to Craig’s Cruisers. With every minute I spent there I just got more and more ticked-off.  People are so stupid. Hmm, I think that is the thing I have learned this year. Ha, how many times have I said this so far, ‘I hate people. People are stupid. Civilization is stupid.’

Well, I am tired. Good night. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be in a better mood.

Truth be told, tomorrow I’ll probably be in a worse mood. Ha, good luck with that.

xoxox,

~Baylee Jean