This world is crazy

               This world is crazy. Well, more some things that happen in this world are crazy. There are some things that seem impossible, but people can still pull them off and they almost get by without being caught.

                I’m at Katelyn’s house right now, and we just got done watching Prime Time: What Would You Do, and 20/20. It was honestly the first time I had watched either of the two shows, but I must say, they were both extremely interesting. Prime Time: What Would You Do was pretty thought provoking. On the show we watched the issues were: adopting children of a different race, drinking when you’re with children, and watching people scam people. It really made me think, ‘What would I do?’ And, I don’t know, my mind was kinda blown by 20/20. It was about a guy who was completely insane! Well, let’s just say: He forced his wife to get a face-lift, then he basically drugged her, he probably killed his wife, after killing his wife he hired a ‘nanny’ who didn’t do anything, he sent his adopted daughter back to her country, he had a fake life getting money from the government, he had a felony of forging checks, and he forged paper and I.D.’s. I don’t know, I just can’t believe a person could do all those things without them getting caught. It seriously makes me wonder, if a person can do all that, what else have people done? Don’t you find it a little scary? I find it a lot scary. =/

                I haven’t written anything this week. I really don’t know why, I just haven’t really had anything enlightening or important to say. So, sorry, but you didn’t miss much. Today has been a pretty good day though =) so I feel obligated to talk about it, so in future years to come I can look back at this and remember, ‘When I was in high school, I actually did have a few good days!’

                First let me start off by saying, the gentleman remains a complete gentleman. I swear he’s almost perfect. He gets good grades, he does all the things a gentleman does, and he’s cute. So, what’s wrong with him? There has to be something wrong, right? He’s only human after all. Oh, I think I might know what’s wrong with him, he doesn’t like me. Well, I suppose that’s not something wrong with him, but something wrong with me. Sigh. He obviously must not hate me, because he is so darn sweet. Unfortunately, every time I open my mouth to say something to him, I think it comes out almost mean and snobby. And, I don’t think I’m a snob, and I guess I can be mean at times, but certainly not to him. I think I’m just trying too hard to be cool and make a good impression. It obviously isn’t working. Shall I tell you his tales of gentlemanness? Well, even if you said no, I shall tell you anyway. You may not think this is a big deal, but most people wouldn’t do this in today’s society and so it sets him apart from the rest. The other day in the class that I have with him, the row we are sitting in was one paper short and the teachers had no more copies left. I was in the last seat of the row, so obviously I would be the one not getting the paper. The guy in front of me, just got right to work on his paper (I don’t care, it’s just an example of how the average guy acts, compared to this person). Well, the gentleman passed his paper back to me so that I could get started and he waited for a paper instead of making me do it. He is the middle person in the row, so he already had a paper, in case you didn’t catch that. I know it’s nothing huge and it’s just a guy being a gentleman, but not many guys are gentleman so, it was sweet. I think he is wonderful! I just wish I had more opportunities to talk to him, and without sounded bad. By the way, I am officially sure that he knows my name. Little triumph but a triumph all the same. You see, today in English class (oh my I’ll just say it, I have English with him!) we were debating about love in class. The teacher would read a question and we’d either go to the corner for strongly agree, the one for agree, the one for disagree, and the one for strongly disagree. (By the way, we are starting Romeo and Juliet. That’s how this is relevant to class.) Well, for one of the questions I was standing all by my lonesome in ‘disagree’. He was standing in the middle like a lame butt, which we weren’t aloud to do, but when he explained his reasoning he said, I agree with and see what Baylee is saying and then he repeated what I said. I know I’m lame, and the littlest things make me happy, but it honestly probably made my day.

                Also, I think there may be another guy that I may be semi-attracted to. I’m not really sure, it’s probably just a heart flutter thing and my the end of next week I’ll be over it. Still, I don’t think it would be bad if I did.

                And I met a guy in the hallway today. I have heard of the guy before considering he is really weird, but I had never met him. But I was walking in the hallway and so was he. We got stuck behind some people and by the time we got past them we were walking next to each other. Well, we had never met so he was all ‘Hi, who are you?!’ , and I said ‘ Hi, I’m Baylee?’ , and he said ‘I’m Brian’ and then ‘Nice to meet you!’ and I said ‘Nice to meet you too!’ I was excited to finally meet the guy. Plus at least I had someone to basically walk me to my class for the moment.

                Well, I’m tired and I should probably be talking to Katelyn considering I am at her house. This is actually the first time we are hanging out without Miranda. I’ve had a pretty good night! Tomorrow should be fun too, ice skating. Here’s to being happy about today and here’s to tomorrow!

                xoxox

                ~Baylee jean

Runaway...

                Have you ever wanted to run away?

                Have you ever wanted to run and never look back? Just leave the world behind you, and don’t let yourself regret anything. Go where ever you want, see whatever you want. Leave the life you’ve always known. Leave the haters, the people ready to judge you, any responsibility you had, any fears or regrets. If you could just leave it all. Leave the barriers and the restriction the government and anyone else who has authority traps us with. Leave the expectations, the everyday tortures that don’t apply to us.

                I assume you know my opinion on the matter, but just to make it clear: it sounds like a dream. Escaping.  Trust me, I’ve thought about it. I’d never actually run away but I’ve dreamed of leaving, doing something more than what I’m doing now.  The problem: No one understands. No one agrees. No one cares.|

                Running isn’t always cowardice. Sometimes, it’s what’s best. We aren’t running away out of fear, we’re running because we are the dreamers. We see the world differently, in a way no one else will ever understand. We know that there is something more out there, something else we should be doing. Instead of being imprisoned here, we’d rather be imprisoned elsewhere. Or, better yet, not be imprisoned anywhere at all; always moving.

                There really is no point in me being here. I can see that, so why can’t anyone else? I am wasting my life here, rotting away like a banana on a sunny day. I don’t mean to sound dramatic, I’m really not that big of a drama-queen. I’m just saying: Everyone learns in different ways, everyone sees things differently.

                I don’t know where I’m going with this.

                I guess I wish I could just disappear, start over, fall into the earth.

                Maybe someday.

                For now I’ll suffer through it (sounds dramatic like I’m joking but I’m being 100% serious)

                xoxox

                ~Baylee Jean

I'm Always Grumpy...

It’s times like these that life truly confuses me.

At this very moment I am laying on my floor typing this as my cousin lays in my bed snoring louder than I usually blare my music. I bet people around the world can hear her. Last night I had to sleep with headphones in just to block out the sound and it barely worked; I’ll probably have to do the same thing again tonight.

My cousins and grandmother came and spent the weekend. I had yesterday off, but it wasn’t much of a vacation. Everyone else has Monday off, so I’ll be the only one who doesn’t technically get to enjoy their vacation. I guess I don’t deserve it though because I missed school all last week, because I was sick. Sigh, karma I guess.

We went to Craig’s Cruisers. With every minute I spent there I just got more and more ticked-off.  People are so stupid. Hmm, I think that is the thing I have learned this year. Ha, how many times have I said this so far, ‘I hate people. People are stupid. Civilization is stupid.’

Well, I am tired. Good night. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be in a better mood.

Truth be told, tomorrow I’ll probably be in a worse mood. Ha, good luck with that.

xoxox,

~Baylee Jean

Bad Day

Had one of the worst day I've had in a long time.
The school day was fine I s'pose, except for him.... but oh well...
Once I got home everything went down hill. Maybe I'll explain more tomorrow.
For now: I hate soup, Mac n' cheese, expired milk, 6 cups of water, noodle on the floor.
Ughh.
love ya.
xoxox
~Baylee jean

What are you hiding?

Well, I originally planned on writing this post about how I love people. Plans change. I still can’t bring myself to say that. Every time I start to have the tiniest bit of hope for the human race, someone, somehow diminishes it. So, I will not be writing about how I love people.

I have a question: Do we ever truly know someone?

Everyone has secrets; everyone is hiding something. Does it make sense for a person to be hiding their good side?

Last night I attended an honor roll party at school, from 5-7 pm. It started out interestingly enough. I was waiting in the car for my friends to show up when a van went past us. Guess who was in it? Arrogant Jerk. (Can we change his name to A.J. [stands for arrogant Jerk]?) I looked over to see who it was, and of course it was A.J. He saw me glaring at him, and he kind of smirked. My mom saw the look on my face and asked me who he was. I just told her to glare at him (she didn’t, but still, I told her to.) It was funny though, because the second he got out of his car my mom said, “He looks pompous, full of himself, and he’s too skinny.” I looked at her like she was brilliant. Mostly because she was brilliant, she was dead-on. He is all of those things, arrogant, jerk. Still, while he got out of the car, I couldn’t help but think, “He’s so hot, and he looked at me!” What’s wrong with me?

I wonder what A.J’s hiding. It’s obvious that he pretends he’s nice and brilliant, when in reality he’s a cowardly, arrogant jerk. But everyone could see that, if they looked carefully enough. No, I mean, I wonder what he’s really hiding. There must be something, there always is, with everyone.

A.J isn’t the one hiding his good side though. After we ate, and took a group photo I went into the Wii games room (my friends eventually found me and played too) and started playing Mario Brothers with Brian. Brian! Well, let’s just say I suck at Mario Brothers on the Wii, especially when I don’t know the controls. But anyway, it was an extremely normal and mostly fun game. Brian was nice! Honestly, if he tried a little harder to be nice on a regular basis, he’d be a great guy. He started the game by telling me an entertaining story about why Mario has to keep saving Princess Peach. It had to do with Mario eating a lot of lasagna, and then having to work out, then rescuing Princess peach, and then she turns him down when he ask her out. It was strange, but funny. I mean, the boy can actually have a normal conversation. I was so surprised. Sure, he said some things that were a little annoying, but nothing too bad. Hey, no one can change in one night. I've never thought he was too bad, I’ve always just thought that people need to give him a chance. I was right. I wonder if he knows what he can gain with just a little extra common sense. Why is he hiding his good side? What else is he hiding?

Do you want to know one thing that I’M hiding? Well, I’ll tell you anyway. I’m hiding how much I really want someone to share what I’m hiding with.

Those were the two things I remember most from yesterday (of course they both have to do with guys. Great. =[). Of course other things happened. I got three compliments yesterday. First, Kayla told me my eye make-up looked pretty. Then, when I got to the Honor Roll party Jasmine Stokes (whom I hung out with for the first 15 minutes, before she had to leave) told me I looked really nice, and that she liked my outfit and how she wished we didn’t have to wear uniforms. Then she wrote on the board in the classroom we were playing Wii in, “Baylee es Bonita.” Then when Katelyn came into the room she added, “y Buena” to it, so that it said, “Baylee es Bonita y Buena!” I don’t think they erased it, so when my Spanish teacher goes into her class on Monday she’s going to read it. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten some nice compliments, and they made me feel nice.

After the party Miranda, Katelyn, and I went to the mall to look at dresses for the spring formal (I still hope I get a date, although I know it won’t happen. I’m going to end up just having to go with my friends). I found my top three dresses and a jacket/cardigan. I am so excited. The dresses are so pretty. Looking at dresses and knowing I’ll be able to buy one makes me feel like a princess. All girls need to feel princessy every once and a while! XD

Afterwards, we went to see The Roommate. It was supposed to be a scary movie. It wasn’t as scary as I had hoped. The hot Ex-boyfriend and Cuddles the cat died. That was it. The worst part was when the cat died. I'm disappointed in it.

Miranda spent the night. I’ve had a rather boring day today. My mom and I went to Woodland Mall and hung out. It was fun and she took me to get a Caramel Sundae from Sonic. Yummy! XD

Super bowl tomorrow!

xoxox

~Baylee Jean

2nd Snow Day

Snow Day #2, 2^nd snow day in a row! Thank you snow! (or as many are calling it, Snowpocalypse, snowsaster, snowmageden, and Blizzard 2011).

                Today was a pretty good day! XD

                I woke up this morning still thinking about last night. Not the best way to wake up, so I was fuming first thing in the morning. It really bothered me, what he did. Oh well, I don’t even know him. I just hated the getting that realization of how arrogant people can be.

                Anyway, I’m trying to get over it (not gonna happen).

                Miranda called, ten minutes after I woke up. She was unnaturally happy. Somehow, here preppyness cheered me up a little. So we talked for a while and decided that she should come over. We were going to make snow people! After I hung up with her, I went to take a shower. Then, she came over and we threw snowballs at each other, failed at making snowmen, and made igloos (if you can call them that. Miranda’s is epic!

                I learned that we are going to have a Spring Formal! I get to wear a fancy dress and everything, so excited! Now I only wish I had a date…

                I’m going to go… I’m getting ticked again. Bye.

                Xoxox

                ~baylee jean

I Hate People.

                I hate people.

                Not going to lie, I’m completely pissed right now! So, if you aren’t in the mood to hear me rant, stop reading. I’m not in the mood to listen to your complaints.

                People are idiots, fakes, liars, jerks, stupid, charming, terrible. People are a disease. We are a disease to our planet, we are a disease to each other, and we are a disease to ourselves.

                I am an idiot. I feel so dumb. How could I not have known?

                People are so good at wearing mask; so good at covering up whom they truly are. They go around acting like something, and you want to know the worst part, everyone believes them. Then, all of a sudden the lightly drop the act like it’s no big deal. Or, even worse than that, they drop it right from the beginning, and act as if it’s casual. It’s not.

                You are such a jerk. How could I not have seen that?

                Am I really that bad a judging people? Sad thing is I’m still having a hard time figuring out how to judge you!

                People can be so unclear. People can be such complete jerks, yet be so charming about it that it doesn’t seem that terrible.

                You are trash.

                People can change so quickly. I think everyone is slightly bi-polar in some way. People can go from kind, to harsh; from loving to hateful, from charming to… trash. So much can change in so little time. It doesn’t take more than a second to change things, sometimes even less than that. People never really know anyone, if they’re always changing. But, it doesn’t really matter. Everyone will be deceived by someone in the end. Truth be told, you already have been. Everyone has been deceived by someone, even when they were young. Santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy. When people get older, things only get worse. People can recover from minor lies such as though, funny games. It gets harder to recover as the games get more complex.

                I don’t know much of them, but: Your games don’t seem fun, or funny. No one wants to play, so get over yourself. The rules are too complex, and there is no meaning to the game. I’m pretty sure you’re making it up as you go along. I don’t want to play.

                I think I just put myself in the game.

                Even if you don’t want me there; no one talks about my friends like that, and gets away with it. Not without a fight.

                Wouldn’t it be funny if you lost your own game?

                I hate people. I am a person. I hate myself as well.

                I too wear a mask. I don’t think anyone knows what’s under it. I thought I wanted people to know who I am, to know me; I don’t trust anyone enough anymore to even try.

                They wouldn’t like me anyway.

                My mask. I am ashamed to be wearing it. So stupid that is to say, considering I don’t want to take it off. Or, I won’t take it off is more like it.

                I talked to you like you were funny, like you were charming. Oh, forget that. What’s the point of lying? I was flirting with you. Does that make you smirk? I was flirting. I think you’re cute and you seemed charming. Wish I would have known you would say that. I would have convinced myself not to start the conversation in the first place. Did that blow up your ego? I hope your ego explodes.

                Even after you said it, I pretended it was no big deal. I think I even added a few ‘ha’s’ behind it. It wasn’t funny. Get over yourself.

                I now know that you are a jerk. YOU ARE A JERK! I hope someone confronts you about it soon. I hope someone treats you exactly how you act. That’s the least you deserve, get a taste of your own medicine, see how it tastes. I assure you, it doesn’t taste good. Being deliberately fooled, and falling for a false act. You’ll feel like an idiot. You deserve it, because you are an idiot. I’ll give you a taste of it myself if I get the chance.

                Trust me; I’ll be working on my act.

                You like drama, right? Did you hear about the latest character in the play, the latest antagonist? It’s you! I wonder if you’d get the point by seeing how someone else portrays your character. I’m sure there are plenty of people that would do it. I know I would. Show you how ridiculous you look, sign me up.

                People never truly learn from their mistakes. If a person does something once, they’ll do it again. I’m sure it’s probably proven fact. If it isn’t, it will be soon. Habit is habit, and always will be. Flaws are flaws; everyone has them and is stuck with them. People can hide their flaws, and they can get away with it. But buried under the surface, the flaws will always be there.

                I’ve had one conversation with you. I can already make a list of your flaws.

                I can also think of a list of attractive qualities. You pull people in. That’s why I’m so confused by you. How did you know me? You didn’t even seem to know me for the reasons I thought, but something completely different. It made my heart flutter; too bad you went and ruined it.

                You are one of the world’s most dangerous, scary, vicious predators. I wish I would have stayed away. A teenage boy.

                I wish a million apples were thrown at you now. I will no longer try to stop them from bombarding you with apples now. Don’t expect any help from me.

                Learn how to treat people. Get a soul. You are not that brilliant, you are not better than anyone else. We may not all be able to see past the mask, but one day… one day…. One day you’ll learn the error of your way. I hope Karma comes and bites you in the butt… hard.

                Who do you think you are? Well? Who are you?

                 I hate you. I am attracted to you.

                I hate people.

~Baylee jean